Let’s Chat About The Good Times

Hey Mr. Blog, long time no chat about nothing in particular. It seems to me that I haven’t said to much along the lines of what has been going. Mr. Blog, it is definitely true, we haven’t had a real heart to heart conversation in a long while now. So let’s start and jus blab. I really should be studying for a chemistry mid-term right about now while I have a 2 hour break, but chemistry bores me and I think I’d rather write random things and pretty much just guess randomly on the test. I’ m a huge fan of random things because life is so random and we should embrace that aspect. In today’s society, where so much is expected of us and into the tough times, randomness is greatly undervalued. It’s the random things in life and the important things that stick with us forever. I’m pretty much stuck in school all day, trying to figure out what I want to do and what I want to be. What’s that about college being the place where you find yourself? I guess it’s true. I found out things about myself, but mainly thing that I don’t understand. I’m thinking “finding yourself” might have to do with going to parties and getting totally hammered. The next day, as you lie awake at 3 PM with a massive headache, you really want to say that you found out something about yourself. What? I don’t know, just make something up.
Finding yourself is not as easy as it looks of sounds. There is plenty more about yourself you probably won’t understand. Let’s go back to randomness. It’s some of these random events that help you reflect and ask yourself… what am I doing? It isn’t all that easy and simple, but I’m the end everything will be all right. Until things get alright, just hang tight. It took a pretty dang high fever and a whole lot of hallucination for me to realize a few things about myself and a few things that I’ve been doing wrong. Ok, they weren’t wrong actions, but itwasn’t the best course of action. Everything is changing, so don’t measure yourself against others and the sterotypical walk of life. Most of the time it’s not that easy. Try and get out of tight spaces that you’ve dug for yourself and most importantly, MOVE FORWARD. I wish I could have taken my advice.
In my sick feverish state, everything kind of replayed in my head and that’s when I realized that I dug a rut for myself, snugglednup and went to sleep in it. Right now, I’m in the process of getting out, but at this moment in time I’m only first realizing that I’m in the damn hole. Senior year of high school was where everything started falling apart. If there was one year on high school I could travel back in time to and fix, it would be senior year. My focus shifted from the all too important school work and landed elsewhere. The consequence? Freshmen year of college was a disaster because of the shortened attention span and a wadering mind. Sophomore year was even worse! I’ve no luck trying to get back to my old self, functioning at 100%, but try I will! One thing about me…I won’t give up. Ultimately it will be my downfall. Things just haven’t gotten better. My classes are bogus and I’m trying to decide what I should be doing. My next step and getting some new goals in place. My life can’t revolve around one thing forever. It’s time to rethink.