Vending Machines…and the Pizza Machine

I’m pretty sure you’ve seen a whole bunch of odd and high-tech vending machines lately. Whatever happened to the original vending machines that only dispensed bottled water and a variety of snack foods? Oh yea and the machines that would jam all the damn time? Whatever happened to those? I liked those so much better than these high tech ones now. I remember the first time I saw the ones in San Francisco’s Metreon, my jaw dropped. The machine accepted credit cards and cash and dispensed only electronic items like cellular phones, cellular phone cases, and Bluetooth headsets. That’s like a minimum of a $150 purchase, all dispensed by a vending machine. Amazing things aren’t they? Has anyone figured out how to hack a vending machine yet?

You know what? Just because this post got me started on vending machines, I think I’ll compile a list of vending machines that not too many of us here in the United States are all too familiar with. I mean sure I’ve seen the Best Buy vending machines at airports that have a variety of travel supplies and many hotels have overpriced vending machines that carry frequently used travel items. Oh yea and the coffee dispensers, book machines, and DVD rental machines are pretty common. Well, I’ll make a list now. Then we’ll get back on track with the whole pizza vending machine I was supposed to be talking about. Hang in there. We’ll have to, of course visit the vending machine capitol of the world: JAPAN.

1) TP: Yes, you saw correctly. TP aka toilet paper. Turns out there are tons of public restrooms in Japan and therefore you must have toilet paper! Duh! Look for locations outside of these restrooms where you will find these unique machines.

2) Weed: Weed as in the happy plant of the century, as in marijuana. Turns out this machine is located somewhere in California. These machines are only for medical use and are situated in dispensaries, and surrounded by armed guards. Awesome right? I propose a field trip to the world’s first ever weed ATM.

3) Umbrellas: This I think is actually one of the more brilliant ideas. You know how one day it’ll rain and everyone else has forgotten their umbrellas too? You head into a convenience store or drug store and all the umbrellas have already been taken? I hate that feeling. Awesome! We need some of these. I just don’t get how you can make an umbrella come out of a vending machine. That seems so…wrong?

4) Used Panties: Uhm…say again? Turns out it’s not a joke. Looks like these machines sold sealed tubes of worn schoolgirls’ underpants. Err..where in the world did they find so many undergarments of that kind? Looks like they were only in existence for a short time back in 1993. How would it look if some old man was trying to purchase old panties for a…vending machine? I’ll leave you with that thought.

5) Eggs: This is an awesome idea and I definitely want to meet the person who came up with this. This is from Japan and here is the basic gist of things: Farmer wakes up and puts fresh eggs in machine. People buy eggs from machine, knowing that they are still fresh. Good stuff. I’d buy like that!

6) Horse Racing Betting: Cool beans! I think I know some people who would be there all day. It’s like the whole Initial D game. People would definitely hog the racing bet machines. Boohoo.

7) Hot Ramen: Cool! I guess it’s the same concept as those coffee and espresso machines. They need a couple of these on college campuses! After all, it’s what college is all about anyway.

8 ) Energy drink and condoms: Yes, they were located one next to another. Don’t ask why, just think about it for a little bit. YES! That’s why. You get it now? Do I have to be plain? You get off on the energy drinks and make sure you put on protection. Perfect combo. I also love how there is such a wide selection of protection. Nice to see that men have a choice.

9) Rice: Awesome! I like how there is machine for virtually everything in Japan. Question: Was the inventor of the vending machine Japanese? Ten kilo bags of rice and this machine boasts eight different varieties. Somebody please get one of these installed in the US!

10) Drinks and cigarettes: Hey, at least they also have “regular” vending machines in Japan. They haven’t given up on them completely yet, which is good to hear. How come they have so many more selections than we do? AND their vending machines are bigger. Bigger is better right? So what’s up with that, US?

11) Fishing gear: Goodness. I was actually just joking about there being a machine for everything. This makes me think a little more about what I said. It sells fishing line, hooks, and bait!

12) Flowers: Neat machine, but the flowers are probably expensive as hell, or at least more expensive than they should be. Perfect if you forget the flowers on the way home or if you want to do something nice for your significant other once in a while.

13) Parking Garage: I don’t know if this is technically a vending machine, but sure why not? They have these for bicycles too. As a matter of fact I think they have the bicycle ones in the States. The car one is not that different. The entire garage is a machine. You drive your car into the bay and it’ll put the car somewhere for you. Your ticket will retrieve your car for you. Good stuff.

14) Liquor: Ah, this is cool. I don’t think that these will ever appear in the US because there are way too many drunks here and the machines will end up getting vandalized daily. We’ll scratch it from the list, but it’s still pretty awesome. Beer and a variety of alcoholic drinks are sold.

15) Reverse vending (recycling): I approve of this. You know how Safeway has those recycling refund trailers? Yes, I know because I used to drag my bags there and get money for them. Not too much mind you, but you don’t even know how much you really spend on bottles and cans. Put your can back into this machine and you’ll get money back!

16) Porno: The favorite topic of many and yes Japan happens to have some sort of kinky action going on. The porn shack holds four vending machines filled with porno. Hmm…heaven anyone? Yes, they are in vending machines. Cool beans. I wonder how much revenue they generate.

17) Rhinoceros Beetles: I was wondering when we’d come to something alive in a vending machine. Looks like rhinoceros beetles are popular pets of children in Japan. Males are 200 yen and the females are worth 100 yen. Let’s go to Japan folks!

Alright, onto the vending machine that I started this post for. It’s a pizza vending machine, so pretty much food! Yum! This vending machine is found in Rome and bakes a fresh pizza in minutes. It uses infra-red rays and technology that allows it to knead dough, spread tomato sauce, add toppings, and cook it – all in less than 3 minutes. How cool is that? I don’t know though, do you trust it? I don’t think it’s any healthier than frozen pizza and I mean…how healthy is a pizza anyway? Its developer, Claudio Torghele, says that it is very popular and comments on the window provided in the “mini-pizzeria” that lets you watch the cooking process. It’s a vending machine, so it’s going to be available 24 hours a day and right now, offers four toppings: cheese and tomato, bacon, ham, and fresh vegetables. Torghele aims to have this machine widespread into Europe and the US and to outfit the machine with toppings according to tastes of the region. Europeans really care about their “slow food”, so I’m quite surprised that this machine originated in Europe and not Asia. The benefit here is 24 hour service, low price, and very fast food. As for the health issues and such, that’s a topic for another day. It also makes me wonder…what else are vending machines capable of making then, if it can make pizza? Pretty soon they’ll be able to dish out everything.