I stumbled on this beautiful song by The Swon Brothers. I love the lyrics and what it means, because it made me feel. It is almost a direct reflection of some of the feelings that I have. My favorite:
It ain’t what you’re wearing, or those diamond eyes, It’s the heart that you carry deep inside.
Physical beauty is a strong draw, but your clothes will change. They will tatter and they will break. They will stain and they will fade. Even diamond eyes will wear with time, but your heart, if it is pure, true, and beautiful, will not.
Contrary to what I posted on Medium, this was written with someone in mind. It was a little white lie that I’m sure no one will believe. However, everything else in that intro was true and on point. I love to write because it is therapeutic, but I also have a nasty habit of keeping some things in at the expense of my sanity, emotional wellbeing, and physical health. Sometimes life gives you a lot of things to deal with all at once and writing helps me ease the pain and find clarity in a way that I can’t find anywhere else. It’s not that having a heart to heart with friends doesn’t help, but friends are only there a part of the time. Best friends will stick around a little longer than your acquaintances, but when push comes to shove, how many people will truly be there? WHO will always have your back? Who knows your every thought better than…yourself?
And so I sat down one day with a nothing more than a cup of tea, my trusty pen, and my notebook. I let it all out. Rather than generalize and then get specific, I decided to start specific and apply it generally. People who know me well, and by well I mean we talk on a weekly basis, will undoubtedly know who I had in mind. Those who don’t will be lost, but don’t you fret, because this piece is for you as well. There are common strains in humanity and if ever you’ve felt that you’ve loved someone for a slew of reasons, then you know these feelings and thoughts.
It’s about love, it’s about seeing someone for who you believe them to be, whether that is a correct assumption or not – whether they prove that to you or not, and it’s about loving unrequitedly so that you may be forced to love unconditionally. It is not naiveté, but rather, faith, trust, and a belief in yourself that fuels the fire of love and keeps it burning bright even when you want to put it out and go to sleep.
So without further ado, I present to you:
10 Things I Love About You (and you should too)
by Vincent Tang.
We should all dream and we should, at some point, all dream about love. We’re not setting high expectations or even idealizing relationships. We’re just using our imaginations because sometimes, the imagination is all we have. We’re all just dreaming of love. This brings me back to what Victor E. Frankl says about finding meaning in life. When the odds are against us and we come face to face with immense suffering or unbearable grief, we dream. We dream of better days ahead and hold onto hope. Hope is the intangible force that keeps us hanging on and moving forward, with faith driving our feelings and actions. I think most people have a vision of what love looks and feels like, even if it is based on unrealistic fantasies. Fantasies, hopes, dreams, and visions of love are simple manifestations of subconscious erotic and neurotic desires. It shouldn’t be surprising then, that media turns our desires into a dramatic visual on screen. In effect, as a society, we’re taught to believe that love should feel a certain way and that certain actions are romantic while others are not only unromatic, but hindrances to love and budding relationships. I have my own dream and vision of an “ideal” love, but read it with this in mind: an ideal love is not necessarily a happy one, nor is it always the right one. It is the fictional one that we can escape to in times of need, when our lives become inundated with stress, responsibilities, expectations, fights, and synergistic effects of everyday troubles.
I’m waiting for a film that captures it well. The storyline of Hollywood romantic comedies usually go something to the effect of:
Guy meets girl. Guy all of a sudden falls balls deep in love with said girl. Girl dates a billion of other guys. Our protagonist guy is there to “catch” her when she falls, because of course none of these other guys are “good for her” and they all treat her like garbage. Protagonist guy sulks in the background and pines after this amazing girl. Girl all of a sudden realizes that our protagonist dude is “the one”. Happily ever after.
Does it sound jam-packed with cliches to you? It should. How often does this really happen IRL? This highly overused plot probably came about because it happened to someone, somewhere. Just like scripts have a standardized format, so do plots. It turns out that we’re not all that original after all. Go read ThoughtCatalog and you’ll see all the “nice guy” posts. Continue reading