i can’t let you in maybe we're meant to keep secrets

It’s unfortunate that blogs only advocate happiness, positivity, and “being yourself”. Although I applaud the attempt at enlightening the population and inspiring people to reach for something right outside their grasp, those posts are missing something. What ever happened to balance in life? The yin and yang, light versus dark, black versus white? There’s a reason things are presented in a binary way and as polar opposites. No one is advocating the area in between the two, as most things are a spectrum, but we can’t let ourselves and our generation become tunnel-visioned into thinking that one lifestyle rules them all. You know what happens when we are all alike and we all live the same way, think the same way, and eat the same things? We die. That’s right. Mother nature looks down and goes, HAH look at the humans. They’re carbon copies of each other, so let’s test their hardiness and send them an asteroid. Something like that.

This is to say that we shouldn’t be preaching negativity and cynicism day in and day out. We need to find that delicate balance which works for us and if we are that person who is cynical and negative, so be it. Own up to it, move on and find a way to live in this world. I’m cynical. Hell with it. Let’s give you a taste of what I have to offer. Just because I live my life in a happy place doesn’t mean I don’t also have a dark place I enjoy seeking shelter in. Darkness is not evil and it’s not necessarily bad. It’s simply a different way of looking at an event. I keep secrets just like you keep your secrets and I’m betting your secrets are no worse than mine. I just have a feeling.

Perhaps we’re meant to keep secrets. Not everyone is capable of handling the emotions and feelings of another individual. It takes time, patience, an open mind, and a lot of understanding. Where values clash and beliefs battle, there is bound to be a few broken fingers and lost teeth. In the end, you really only have yourself. Even your proclaimed “best friends” only understand a fraction of what you’re really about and no, they haven’t seen you at your worst. They haven’t seen you screeching like a siren and clawing at your invisible ghosts. As a species, we’re born and conditioned to appease others and fit in. As much as people like to conduct social experiments and pose sociological questions about the “norm” and the status quo, it is the status quo and the norm for a reason. Until such time that these things inevitably change or shift, we need to be considerate of the fact that most people are perfectly fine living within the norms and would much rather be normal than different. Those who are “different” or are stigmatized live in a reality much harsher than your everyday Jane or Joe. That’s something we have to be aware of.

So keep your secrets. Not everyone is capable of taking your feelings, emotions, and thoughts to heart. When you find someone who can, keep them around because you’ll gravitate to them in the future. Don’t let people stand in your way and don’t let them throw their judgments onto you just because they can’t handle what you have to say. It’s your world, not theirs. And as much as they say they might care about you, it is as superficial and to their benefit as your own survival is to you. You shouldn’t let people defile your inner sanctum and contaminate your thoughts with their influence. Keep what is yours yours and leave them with theirs. If you can’t handle it, don’t ask for it. And this is why I keep my thoughts to myself – for fear of blowing someone’s brain apart or tearing their heart wide open. I dilute the words for my audience as a mercy to you.